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Facing refusal, notably when it happens repeatedly, is anything but enjoyable. A publisher is declining your work, giving a clear “Not interested.” Being an author, I am well acquainted with rejection. I began submitting story ideas 50 years back, just after college graduation. Since then, I have had several works rejected, along with article pitches and many pieces. During the recent score of years, concentrating on commentary, the rejections have only increased. On average, I receive a rejection every few days—amounting to in excess of 100 annually. Overall, denials over my career run into thousands. By now, I could have a master’s in handling no’s.

However, does this seem like a woe-is-me rant? Not at all. As, at last, at seven decades plus three, I have embraced rejection.

How Have I Accomplished It?

Some context: At this point, just about every person and others has given me a thumbs-down. I’ve never kept score my acceptance statistics—that would be deeply dispiriting.

As an illustration: not long ago, an editor nixed 20 articles in a row before accepting one. In 2016, over 50 editors vetoed my manuscript before a single one accepted it. Subsequently, 25 literary agents rejected a project. One editor even asked that I send potential guest essays less often.

My Steps of Rejection

In my 20s, each denial were painful. I took them personally. I believed my work being rejected, but myself.

No sooner a submission was rejected, I would begin the phases of denial:

• Initially, shock. What went wrong? Why would these people be ignore my skill?
• Next, refusal to accept. Maybe it’s the incorrect submission? Perhaps it’s an administrative error.
• Then, dismissal. What do any of you know? Who made you to decide on my labours? They’re foolish and their outlet is subpar. I reject your rejection.
• Fourth, irritation at them, followed by frustration with me. Why would I put myself through this? Am I a glutton for punishment?
• Subsequently, negotiating (preferably mixed with optimism). How can I convince you to recognise me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Sixth, sadness. I’m no good. Worse, I’ll never be any good.

This continued through my 30s, 40s and 50s.

Notable Company

Of course, I was in excellent fellowship. Stories of creators whose manuscripts was originally rejected are legion. The author of Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. James Joyce’s Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Nearly each writer of repute was first rejected. Since they did overcome rejection, then possibly I could, too. The sports icon was dropped from his high school basketball team. The majority of American leaders over the past six decades had previously lost elections. The actor-writer claims that his movie pitch and desire to appear were rejected 1,500 times. “I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle to motivate me and get going, rather than retreat,” he remarked.

The Final Phase

As time passed, when I entered my senior age, I achieved the last step of setback. Peace. Today, I more clearly see the multiple factors why a publisher says no. For starters, an publisher may have recently run a like work, or be planning one underway, or just be considering that idea for another contributor.

Or, more discouragingly, my idea is not appealing. Or the reader thinks I am not qualified or standing to be suitable. Perhaps is no longer in the market for the work I am peddling. Maybe didn’t focus and reviewed my work too fast to recognize its quality.

You can call it an awakening. Any work can be declined, and for numerous reasons, and there is virtually little you can do about it. Many rationales for denial are forever not up to you.

Manageable Factors

Others are under your control. Let’s face it, my proposals may from time to time be poorly thought out. They may lack relevance and resonance, or the message I am struggling to articulate is insufficiently dramatised. Alternatively I’m being flagrantly unoriginal. Or something about my punctuation, particularly dashes, was unacceptable.

The key is that, despite all my long career and setbacks, I have managed to get recognized. I’ve written multiple works—my first when I was middle-aged, another, a personal story, at retirement age—and more than 1,000 articles. Those pieces have been published in newspapers large and small, in regional, worldwide outlets. My first op-ed appeared decades ago—and I have now written to many places for 50 years.

Yet, no bestsellers, no author events in bookshops, no features on TV programs, no Ted Talks, no prizes, no accolades, no international recognition, and no Presidential Medal. But I can better accept rejection at this stage, because my, admittedly modest achievements have cushioned the blows of my frequent denials. I can choose to be philosophical about it all now.

Educational Setbacks

Rejection can be instructive, but provided that you heed what it’s attempting to show. Otherwise, you will probably just keep seeing denial all wrong. So what lessons have I learned?

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