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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “unmatched in his abilities”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments often turn “detached from reality”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually followed by a “crash”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his behavior, making him highly sensitive to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. However, he doubts he would have taken the label unless he had independently formed that understanding on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they feel a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

While people have been called narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, due to widespread prejudice linked to the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through actions such as seeking admiration,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Although a significant majority of people found to have NPD are men, findings suggests this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into self-protection or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her partner “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself continuously which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my family members were belittling me during my childhood.”

Origins of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: “They said it is expected around in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he explains. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number